15 Years Gone
by Jacob1786
Summary: 15 years after the events of the Volturi visit, Renesmee is a fully grown half-vampire. She is attending regular school, has regular friends and has a shape-shifter as a boyfriend. But one person will enter her life and flip it upside-down... DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- This is not my work the characters, settings and ideas belong to Stephanie Meyer

Chapter 1- 15 years gone…

Edward's POV

We both sighed. mine apologetic and Bella's unsatisfied, but understanding. "I know Bella," I soothed her but more myself, "But everyone will be waiting- especially Jacob." Bella pouted but quickly and gracefully rose- I would never get used to how beautiful she'd become- and flitted to the wardrobe. In the few moments it took her to pick out an outfit she asked me: "I've been thinking... Should we, like, get a cottage out in the country and stay there and... Do stuff? You know like Emmett and Rosalie did?"

I wasn't surprised by it. In fact, I was probably going to ask her the same question in a few week's time. "Sure," I laughed "Then we can emerge from bed once a month to hunt!" She giggled, fully dressed and walked out of the front door to our waiting daughter.

I followed her and seconds later we were running side-by-side with Renesmèe, who still loved to sit on my shoulders. Dressed in T-shirt that Jacob had bought for her with an image of a howling wolf and jeans, Renesmèe was just as beautiful as her mother. Her endearing features had matured and transformed into those of magnificence. She had never cut her hair- there was no point once it had stopped growing- her bronze curls were below her shoulder blades.

Bella and I ran barefoot, the forest's ground felt like velvet on our soles and we arrived just in time, it looked as if Jacob was going to start searching for us. Everyone else was just beginning to file out of the house like they were waiting for something to happen. They were doing their usual humming annoying songs or reciting Shakespeare to stop me figuring out what the hell was going on. It was frustrating to say the least. When Jacob saw vampires pouring out of the house he turned instinctively- still the same as he was 15 years ago – with the same smile he gave Renesmèe everyday. The smile that showed the Universe revolved around her. Then I heard _his_ thoughts and I stiffened for half a second but so rapidly Renesmèe thought it was her cue to jump off. But Bella noticed and she smiled, Bella knew.

Renesmèe leaped off my shoulders and ran into Jacob's embrace. She absolutely adored him, her eyes- and her thoughts- betrayed her, like the way Jacob revolved around her. She kissed him passionately but quickly as Esmè, Alice, Bella and even Rosalie joined my beaming at the now five year couple. She touched his face- questioning: _"What can we do today?"  
_Jacob smiled his Renesmèe smile.  
"Anything you want Nessie, but I've got to ask you something first." He shared a glance with me and a longer one with Bella who looked like she was about to squeal with excitement. To be honest I was pretty thrilled too.

"Renesmèe Carlie Cullen," whispered Jacob getting down on knee, "Will you marry me?"

RPOV

A few drops of cold sweat poured down my face as I answered him. "Um, Jake?" I whispered, "Don't you think we should wait at least until I graduate? I'm not saying no!" I added quickly taking a glance around at the wide eyed vampires. "Jake I'm just saying I think it's too soon…" My eyes locked on my mother's who obviously understood me. Her expression was sympathetic, as if she could relate to my predicament. I slowly turned to Jacob but his expression was anything but saddened- in fact he was amused.  
"Sure Ness, don't panic it's all-right," he stroked my face softly beaming at me, "I can wait a million years." I beamed back but I was scowling on the inside, sometimes the whole imprinting thing would annoy me when he did nothing but agree with everything I said. It made real arguments impossible. Dad laughed out loud at my renegade thought as a blush crept to my cheeks. That afternoon, Jacob and I went hunting then went down to La Push and tread water for almost the whole day. Unlike Mum and Dad, the fish in the water swam circles around me and didn't darting away in terror. When I moved, they swam with me in perfect synchronization in the deep blue waters. Soon the drop of burning gold fell into the infinite horizon, and after swimming all day, I was drained. Jacob picked me up then ran home with me in his arms telling me how it reminded him of the time my Mum would sit there in his arms a little while before I was born. It never made me uncomfortable at all, Jacob talking about how he used to love her, because I knew that Jacob wouldn't leave me for the world.

Little did I know Fate had something to say about that.

Even with Jacob clinging to my every movement, my inherited bad luck was still problematic. I tripped over imaginary obstacles as I walked and I managed to fall up stairs successfully a few times._ 'I swear if I wasn't half vampire I would be dead already.'_ Dad chuckled at my rambling brain as I came down the stairs the following morning. "Your Mother always talked just like that," he murmured, with laughter in his golden eyes. I walked towards him bag in hand, and he kissed my forehead, "Have a good day Nessie."

I walked out of the door with a backwards glance, expecting my special wolf to be there with one of his bone crushing hugs, but he wasn't. I touched Daddy's face, my bottom lip jutting out slightly and asked, _"Where's my Jacob?"  
_He smiled, "Jacob went home to air the vampire smell out of his clothes."  
Emmett's laughter shook through the house along with Rose's giggles as I left, shrugging to myself and opening the door of my inconspicuous Skoda to make my way to Forks High.

Unaware, completely unaware that this day changed my life forever


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Stupid shiny Mini owner

My green Skoda sped down the drive then onwards towards school. I was incredibly early, simply because I'd picked up Dad's 'need for speed' and it doesn't take a smart person to work out that speed and clumsiness don't mix, but I'd never had an accident. Once I'd parked in a corner, I put my old Kings of Leon album on and tried to finish off my English essay, nodding my head to my favourite songs. When the album finished I looked up to see most of the usual people: Harriet, Alex, Patricia and Katie chatting excitedly about their weekends and hurriedly finishing remembered essays and projects. I preferred my quiet time before school began and sat listening to the music with my eyes closed, eventually drifting off…

I woke up to the sound of the bell ringing and my music finished so I exited my car and locked the door. I was about to start off to registration after stretching when a shiny, silver Mini pulled into the car park with no rush at all. I was going to ignore it when the most amazing impulse to stay hit me. I followed it through, curious as to what could have made me stop dead in my tracks. The Mini stopped in the space next to mine and out stepped _the _hottest guy I'd ever seen. Firstly, his stance was full of lonely confidence and his posture betrayed neither weaknesses nor strengths. He was intriguingly mysterious at once. Before he looked up at me I took a slow, deep breath, his scent billowing through my nostrils. He smelled _beautiful. _Instantly controlling the faint urge to crouch and spring onto him, I leaned back, as casually as I could in this dazed state, on my Skoda.

When he did look at me I was bewildered. He was almost as beautiful as he smelt and it was hard to keep myself in check.  
"_How can I feel this way about someone I've never even met before? It's obviously an infatuation… Isn't it?" _  
The question stayed unanswered as I stared into his eyes. The colour was utterly unique, and nothing like I had seen before. They both sparkled intense but somehow gentle. Silvery blue and locked on mine. He was taller than I was, around 6" 0' and his sparkling eyes were half hidden under his medium length, auburn hair. In a word, this boy who had just walked into my life was stunning.

"Hi," I breathed breaking the silence with a friendly tone and lifting my hand to shake, "I'm Renesmèe; you can call me Nessie though."  
He smiled at me and it was dazzling, like someone turned the sun on in front of my face, "I'm Kaleb, but you can call me K, if you like." he said  
There was a kind finality in his voice that showed that he didn't care either way- he just wanted it known. His hand met mine in the middle unflinchingly at my heat. "Nice to meet you, Renesmèe, I'm sure I'll see you around."  
And with that he walked off into school with a small wave leaving me breathing hard, like I'd run a marathon. "_This isn't good, this is far from good, this is bad this is…" _ I struggled to think the words let alone walk retardedly to registration. _"This cannot be happening to me. I'm in love with Jacob aren't I? OK there is no doubt that I love him. The only difference is that I am also in awe of this... This god."_

What the hell can I do? Stupid, shiny, Mini owner.

Once I got to registration, I sat down in my chair with my head in my hands asking myself over and over in my head: _"What the hell am I going to do? What the hell am I going to do? Crap, crap, crap!" _As I sat there tormenting myself repeatedly, Harriet nudged me carefully with her eyes alight with innocent curiosity. _She saw me with Kaleb? Oh shi-_,  
"Renesmèe how many times do I have call your name before you answer me?" Mr Walker was trying not to laugh, obviously used to my spacing out. As everyone turned around to look at little me near the back of the class a slow blush rose to my cheeks and everyone laughed in unison.  
"I'm here Mr Walker," I said sheepishly, just as Harriet passed me a note:  
_"Tell me everything about the hot guy Nessie. Please?"  
_I sighed and wrote back: _"In Gym, H. Okay?"  
_She nodded in complete excitement then giggled as I rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm. The day crawled on slowly, like I had to push the huge boulder of school up a steep hill. It was finally break-time and I saw him outside on a bench reading a book. He liked to read like I did, not only that but he didn't call me "Nessie" like most people- he actually called me my full name.

He was the first person to do that other than my family.

How was I going to sort this out? I wish a car would knock me over right now, or some huge hole just swallow me up. Harriet and Alex ran up to me, obviously desperate for information,  
"Nessie, please I can't wait until Gym," Harriet moaned her girly moan. Alex perked up as I sat up on the bench, readying myself for my in depth description of Kaleb. While I was describing his beautiful eyes, how they were the perfect shade of blue and how they sparkled intensely but so gentle and caring, Kaleb looked up at us briefly. He smiled his awesome smile like he heard what I was talking about and he shook slightly with laughter. But he had his headphones in- it was impossible Harriet and Alex sighed in harmony and I sighed as well, but independently. I sighed a sigh of utter helplessness and confusion. I sighed because I felt terrible.

I felt terrible that his amazing smile made me melt. He shouldn't have that effect on me, because Jacob doesn't have that effect on me. I felt terrible because when I got home, not only Jasper would pick something up from my bucketful of emotions, but so would Alice from the decisions I made. And then Dad would hear the worrying thoughts and Mum would just 'know'. I felt terrible because if I didn't act soon I knew I would make the wrong decision. I knew that I loved Kaleb uncontrollably and I knew that I loved Jacob just the same.

I had to stay away.

As hard as it might be, I had to distance myself from Kaleb as much as possible. I must have patience and self control. I couldn't just try not to like him and hope for the best

Gym passed in a flash, my new determination seemed to speed the day ahead of me and I survived lunch with as much ease as running a 100m sprint. Then the final lesson arrived. English was the lesson I had with my registry tutor, Mr. Walker and I was the only one with an empty seat by me. As I sat down and placed my head on the cool desk I thought about my next move- how would I hide my feelings from Jasper? While I was pondering, all my senses were dulled and even the shouting felt like murmurs though my unfocused ears. Suddenly I felt air currents move across my skin, as if someone was next to me. Then it hit me and I shivered in cold anticipation. The _only_ spare seat in the class and the_ only _new student that I'd noticed. The chair pulled back, barely scraping the floor as it did and I hoped against hope that there was some other new kid in school who arrived when I was asleep.  
_"Not bloody likely Renesmèe," _I thought to myself, but still hoping in vain. Then I smelt the scent I could have if I allowed myself the pleasure, the scent that nearly knocked me down in the car park, the scent that smelled even better because it was forbidden. I slowly opened my eyes and slowly turned my head to see the sculpture of brilliance before me. I turned at exactly the wrong time. Kaleb was taking off his top, it was pretty warm in that room, and as it happens, revealed his perfect body right in front of my eyes. He was more than perfect, he was faultless. His torso was flawlessly defined and his skin was faintly tanned at just the right tone.

Patricia actually fell off of her chair looking flustered but no one was paying any attention to her, even the guys looked at him- with complete jealousy of course. When he sat down he seemed annoyed, he seemed annoyed at me.

"_For what reason?" _I thought,_ "I'm probably in love with you, you bastard! I should be mad at you! In a matter of hours, you've had me re-think what to do with a 5 year relationship as if it were a souvenir from a holiday that I was apathetic to, like it was taking up space in my already cluttered house." _

He half flinched, as if he was flinching from the intensity of my thoughts, then caught himself halfway through. My eyes narrowed slightly.

"_He can't of heard what I was thinking can he? That's impossible... For a human. And he definitely smells human" _I thought carefully, my breathing picking up, but he did not respond at all. "_OK__ the window is open, the breeze was cold, he could just be flinching from the wind- chill out Nessie." _My breathing slowed as I tried to concentrate on what Mr Walker was talking about. "–and you will be working in pairs, often at each other's houses or at libraries," Mr Walker said whilst handing out the essay task onto our tables. "You'll be paired up with your table buddies and you can sort it out between yourselves, exchange numbers and get busy! You have two weeks,"

I almost blacked out. OK, _that_ was an exaggeration- but still: Me alone with Kaleb? Was someone up there high on some special immortal brew of drugs that twisted the very fabric of right and wrong?

Obviously yes.

God was high.

End of.

"Have I ever told you that I hate you Mr. Walker?" He muttered under his breath, his voice thick with the venom of hatred_._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Chill and take a Jasper

RPOV

Driving home after school, rogue tears fell down my face as I thought about how much I seemed to care about what he said, and the danger of those feelings. Driving slowly in the pouring rain, with my tears cascading down my cheeks in unison, I did my best to get some sort of emotional relief from the mess I was in. The thing that fuelled the crying was the fact it all went so fast. It was one morning, one afternoon; one English class was all it took to have me fall for this amazing sculpture of perfection. Fairly decently length auburn hair, an awesomely toned and tanned body, his silvery blue eyes, the way they penetrated mine tenderly every time he looked at me…

I had stopped sobbing now; I was taking deep breaths, focusing on every aspect, and every detail of Jacob and his... Jacobness

"You _need_ to stop thinking of Kaleb like that," I muttered, increasing the speed of my car, suddenly in a hurry to get home. I rearranged my thoughts, deciding quickly to get a song stuck in my head so I wasn't infiltrated by Dad, but the only person waiting for me at home was Jacob. He was smiling _my_ smile, perfectly patient and obviously happy to see me. But there was something different, something in his eyes that wasn't always there. He hugged me and kissed my forehead,

"Hey Flower," he said, calling me by name Mum came up with after my smell once we had done with our visit from the Volturi: _"Like a flower that only blooms at midnight," _

Jacob beamed again.  
"When you graduate Nessie," he said enquiringly "Will you have to pose as Bella's sister or something when you go through school again?" he laughed.

I giggled "That's a funny thought Jake," I answered, my voice became enquiring too, "Where is everyone else?" I asked, following him into the house hand-in-hand.

"Hunting" he whispered spiralling around to meet my eyes with his. We were close together now, our bodies heating the little air that was between us.

He moved closer still, our bodies moulding together as my arms snaked around his neck. I closed the gap slowly and deliberately, his lips brushing against mine. His hands held me gently against him, mine caressing his short black hair. His lips were moist and warming to the touch. It was enough to make me forget about the day I'd had, for a moment. His tongue moved with mine, making soft sounds of delight with me. We melted into each other, Jacob tilted his head, deepening the kiss. He pulled back a little, waiting for my response- like always- then continued when he felt the smile on my lips.

My phone buzzed and rang a shrill ringtone, it almost ruined the moment.

Almost.

Jacob chuckled, "Go on Renesmèe, answer it."

I groaned, "I don't feel like it, who knows when we're going to be alone like this again?"

He smiled my Jacob smile, "I'm not going anywhere Ness, take a Jasper for God's sake"  
I giggled whilst he walked out to give me some privacy. I took out my phone and my jaw dropped open with a little "Pop!" when I looked at the caller ID.

It was Kaleb.

My barrier nearly shattered, like Fate was driving a battering ram through my head. With a shaky hand I pressed the accept button:

"Hello?" I said my voice surprisingly calm.  
"Hi," he breathed, as if he was holding a breath, "I'm sorry about how I acted, I-"

He stopped. Then started again, taking a deep breath as if to fortify himself. "I shouldn't have said that, it was _stupid_ Renesmèe, I'm sorry." He let out another gust of air- a sigh of relief this time.  
"You seemed mad at me," I questioned, "Was that because-?"  
He interrupted, but not rudely: "I was annoyed, but not at you, it was something else. Something else happened today." he murmured, sounding like he was dying for a subject change, or at least to take the heat of of him for a while.  
"I've got to apologize too," I said, my voice still eerily calm: "For avoiding you throughout the whole day, for being a bitch, it was childish but I'm doing it for a reason," It was my turn to let out a breath, a sigh of tension, "Not because I _don't_ like you- but because..." I trailed off.  
"Because what?" he asked, a slight edge of worry added to his voice.  
I laughed it off nervously, "It doesn't matter, I'll tell you some other time if it comes up," I bit my lip like was trying to chew a rock.

He didn't take the bait, but he played along politely, picking up the fact that I didn't want to talk about it, "Okay. Well I'll see you tomorrow- but I didn't just phone for apologies. We should arrange who is coming over to whoever's house for this task. Or maybe we should visit the library?" he asked.  
"Yeah sure, the library sounds great- but can we talk about it tomorrow? I'm kind of... In the middle of something now,"

"No worries, see you later,"

"Bye, Kaleb," I hung up.

Before I followed Jacob into the house for some boundary crossing, I thought briefly about how I was going to finish that sentence, but I pushed out of my mind and set my sights on the front door- it was slightly ajar...

We fooled around for a bit- but I had to keep my head on straight to detect the first signs of family back from the hunt. Things got a teensy bit heated between us whenever we had some time alone, but we had a sort of agreement about no sex before marriage. I proposed that oral sex didn't come under the traditional schema that surrounded sexual intercourse but Jacob shut me down with something like: _"One thing leads to another Ness, and who knows what could happen when we actually get down to it?"_

After a couple of hours I picked up Jasper and Alice's scents so like lightening I sped downstairs and switched on the TV. About a minute later they walked through the front door looking a bit full, I could hear the faint slush of the warm, red liquid in their stomachs. Alice gave me a knowing smile. But it was fine. Alice was like my sister- she could keep a secret.

I didn't remember anything about the conversation with Kaleb until after dinner and an hour or two in front of my PC. I was brushing my teeth when the thought crept up on me. It rolled around my head like an annoying pop song. It wasn't that fact that he seemed like he hated the idea of being paired up with me- he apologised for that misconception. The real problem was what I felt like saying before I stopped myself:

"_I've got to apologize too. For avoiding you, for being a bitch, it was childish but I'm doing it for a reason. Not because I don't like you- but because... I do. And you have no idea how much…"_

A/N: What do you guys think so far? Hit me up with a review :)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4- Deep Breaths

The shower hissed, sending the hot water cascading down my back. It ran through the curves of my body sending warm and pleasant shivers down my spine. The night before Jacob kept close to me while I slept, he actually changed me into my PJs without waking me up. Just goes to show how much emotional strain some one can go under before they collapse into unconsciousness. I think that I might feel human emotions much sharper than anyone else does, sadness is so deep and happiness can be so terrifyingly high that I could probably mistake it for being spiked with E.

Surprising myself somehow, I did not think of Kaleb enough to crop up any suspicion from Dad, but that was probably because he made me topple over with laughter when he arrived with some blood in a cup, accompanied by a silly-straw. I slurped it down hungrily with some toast and kissed Jacob goodbye, careful not to use tongues- I didn't want him to taste the necessary red liquid. I drove to school with a new resolve, I just needed to do my best to fixate on Jacob and that couldn't be too hard. Could it? I got there early as always, and took the time I had to actually look at the essay sheet. _"Romeo & Juliet?" _I questioned in my head, _"How ironic- My only love sprung from my only hate; too early unknown and known too late," _Time didn't seem to be patient this morning, before long I was sitting in my seat for English, my first lesson on Tuesdays and a guy I didn't really know called Leon was switching off the lights and closing the blinds. He glanced at me a couple of times and smiled to himself like he was thinking about something amusing. Kaleb, who had just sat down next to me was glaring at him intensely- his eyes burned beautifully but dangerously. _"What's up with him?"_ I worried in my head trying to fight the urge to comfort him, to touch him, if even a little. He almost instantly relaxed and eventually turned around to face the front. He gave me a smile, flashing his perfect rows teeth. I smiled back, giving him a flash of mine and he nodded, looking impressed.

"Ten out of ten for those teeth," he chuckled, _"He's flirting, discreetly. Do I respond flirt-for-flirt?"_ I deliberated silently. I didn't get time to make a decision; Mr Walker had just appeared with a DVD containing Romeo & Juliet, the 1996 version. The atmosphere instantly changed, the room was filled with cheers from some of the slow thinkers of the class. "They might as well be blonde," I murmured finally moving my eyes from the front of the room to Kaleb's own auburn hair. He smiled at my joke and nodded in agreement then shifted his eyes to _my_ hair, "I wonder what _you_ would look like if you were blonde," he replied in equal volume. I grinned back at him as the opening credits ran and turned reluctantly back to the front, body first, and then my face eventually tore away from his amazing eyes.

The hour and ten minute double period seemed to have stretched itself forever. The darkness made it worse, not because I couldn't see anything- my vision was perfect- but it increased the intensity of my urges. The urge simply to touch was so strong I had to concentrate on the number of breaths I was taking and ball my hands into tight fists. Although, that just made me afraid that if I let the urge take control I would punch him, instead of stroking his fragile, perfect face. I kept stealing glances through my hair, but he always seemed to be one step ahead of me, his blue eyes sparkled like sky lamps, containing within them the brilliance of the sun. It became a game, which I always lost. Maybe he could see my smallest fidget in the corner of his shining eyes, or maybe he just had a sixth sense about these things. In any case, he had an unfair advantage.

The English double wasn't quite enough for the film, so we would spend half of the next lesson on Thursday watching the rest. The rest of the school day passed quickly enough. At lunch we sat outside because the weather was nice, and I decided to go and sit at Kaleb's bench- he was looking lonely. When I sat down across from him he finally looked up from his book and grinned at me. "What are you reading?" I asked curiously eyeing the pages, "Romeo and Juliet actually," he said. But something caught his eye and he followed whatever it was with his gaze, "Your friends seem to want to play 'swap the table' too," he chuckled, giving me a familiar smile before I whipped my head around to look at them.

Alex, Gene and Harriet had left Patricia and Katie at our table to come and sit over at Kaleb's. When they arrived I introduced Gene, but Al and H decided to introduce themselves. Gene and Kaleb instantly clicked, talking about the latest music players until the end of lunch before they realised they were in the same registration class. Harriet walked with me to afternoon registration after lunch telling me that I was sending all the wrong signs. "I know," I yielded "But I can barely resist him- it's not like your doing any better," I snapped back.  
She looked at me sceptically, raising an eyebrow at my attempt to shift the blame onto someone else. "Look Nessie," she said, standing with me in the hallway, "He's obviously a great guy, but you've got Jacob and he loves you to bits."  
I scowled at her, "Yes, well _you've_ got Ben who loves _you _to bits haven't you?"

Harriet's expression shifted from scolding to sheepish and a little sad in a flash, "Ben and I broke up last week," she explained, fumbling with a few strands of her long blonde hair in between her fingers. As quick as her facial expressions did, my anger turned to embarrassment and I apologised.  
"Was it him or you, H?" I asked timidly after the brief hug.  
"Me," she said "I realised I was just obsessed with his looks, it wasn't really love". The words hit me like a bullet through my head. Was this yet another chess piece in Fate's twisted game in my life? Could this be it? I turned the situation over in my head. _'A simple infatuation? An obsession with his eyes or his hair or his insane ability to make me forget the rest of the world exists when I'm around him?'_

"Nessie wake up," Harriet said, pinching my shoulder. I'd zoned out and stopped in front of the door. "Um, yeah I was thinking the same thing- do you think we should go in now?" I said distractedly, still thinking about the infatuation theory. We walked in and sat in our seats, Harriet was talking about some application on her iPhone and someone else was failing at trying to get my attention. I had spaced out again, trying to figure it all out. Infatuation was a _definite_ possibility, but who was I infatuated with? The immediate and automatic answer was Kaleb. That answer was rational and understandable. But what if it was Jacob? What if that my whole life I had been deceiving myself that what I had with Jacob was true love?

What if this whole time, Jacob whom I know loved me with all his being, was the obsession and Kaleb was my true love?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Desire over Devotion

My hand stroked his and a million electric shocks rolled through my body. Hair tickled my face but I didn't brush it away. Our noses touched lightly, sharing the same air, breathing each other in. His beautiful blue eyes drew me in and mine his. We were millimetres from touching- our lips slow and heavy magnets.

"Renesmèe…" he whispered his voice dripped with yearning.

My eyes snapped open. I was obviously failing at getting him off my mind.  
But I didn't will the memory away. It was warm but eager to leave me behind, so I savoured it, breathing deeply. Then I shook my head. _"Was I just dream cheating on Jacob?" _I caught a glimpse of colour as my head whirled around. I cried out in alarm. "Fucking hell Alice! Don't come into my room all quiet and shit - it freaks me out," I said shakily, "Make some sort of noise in future…"  
Alice smiled and shrugged "I can't see that happening so be prepared for anything," she said, her teeth gleaming in the pale sunlight. I thought back to the dwindling memory of my dream and an urgent question built up in my throat: "Alice," I began and she was at my bed in an instant "What can I do? Who do I ch-"

"I can't tell you that,"

"Why not? I know that you know one way or the other"

"That's why. If I were to tell you a whole other path will be created"

"What are you talking about?"

Alice sighed.

"Like a ripple in a lake. For instance, say your decision causes a very small ripple, affecting a very small number of people- like a piece of gravel was dropped into it. If I were to tell you who to choose that would change everything- like dropping that same piece of gravel into a puddle not ten centimetres wide," she explained. I looked at her dumbly but my eyes were wide with fear. Alice smiled apologetically at my expression, "Don't worry- that's why I didn't tell you. It's fine Nessie," She was crouching now, murmuring in my ear, "You _need_ to choose though Ness - just know there is no right or wrong, 'Kay?" I nodded still surprised at how much she knew.

"Can you tell-", but she interrupted, nodding quickly,  
"And yes I'll tell Bella for you," she smiled, kissed me on the check then vanished as quietly as she'd come. My shower didn't work in the same way this morning- so once I was dry I rushed downstairs to eat breakfast with Jacob and Seth. Nana Esmé always enjoyed cooking and with a pack of werewolves there was plenty to do. So I plopped myself next to Jacob an attacked my pancakes with ferocious determination. It seemed to work as a distraction technique for me, because before I knew it I was kissing Jacob goodbye, his new bike right beside me. "Really, I have to go…" I protested half-heartedly but my lips were already lightly nudging against his again as I spoke, and then they were captured by his. Warmth and comfort, security and excitement flowed through my body. The sunlight reflected in his eyes when I opened my own, and I leaned back to let it all sink in. His arms were still looped around my waist, but held me tighter. A feeling of protection slipped over me, and I finally felt it- all I'd really wanted since I got out of bed.

When he released me I sat on the bike and held out my hand for the keys- but all I got was: "Nessie, I want you to wear a helmet,"  
I almost burst out laughing in his face- but I settled for an ear to ear grin as I eyed the keys in his palm. With speed too fast for even Jacob I snatched the keys from his grasp and turned them in the ignition. The bike growled to life underneath me and went speeding down the drive, "Bye Jake!" I called over my shoulder, as the wind began to dry the few wet strands of my hair. Once I arrived at school underneath the grey-blue sky and the green of the overhanging trees, my eyes caught a topless figure lounging on a bench table a black helmet in hand. I let my face betray the confusion forming in my head. _"Has he forgotten that I'm half vampire?" _I speculated jokingly, my lips twitching upwards. Jacob strode over to me and the bike while I pulled the key out of the ignition, "I'm not wearing it wolf-boy," I grumbled. He murmured something that sounded suspiciously like "I don't give a damn," but I chose to ignore that looking up from the bike through a wall of bronze hair that fell across my eyes.

His face almost looked sad- and before I could touch him to ask what was wrong, he started, "Nessie I couldn't bare it if I lost you. You're too precious- too important to me" I was touched by the sincerity of his words but nevertheless, still confused: "Jake, I'm-" but he interrupted,

"Yes, I know that you're virtually indestructible but I don't want to put that to the test," he confessed.

"Jake," I said, clutching his hand in mine, "Hun you've got nothing to worry about. The only way for me to get hurt is if a vampire or a werewolf got to me and wanted to rip me limb from-"

"I get the picture," he said, grimacing.

"So you see that I won't get hurt in a 15 car pile up now?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah but still, some people might find it a little wired to see a teenage girl walk away from a 15 car pile up unscathed…" He trailed.

"Fine! I'll wear your stupid helmet."

He grinned like the whole episode hadn't existed, "Thanks Nessie," he whipped his head around as the first car came into the car park. He handed me the helmet, and after a long, lingering kiss he bounded of into the trees. I heard his laugh echo through the woods when I realised that there was no way the helmet would fit in my bag. I groaned inwardly then turned around to see who had arrived.

The silver Mini slotted itself conveniently in the space next to my own and Kaleb stepped out, shouldering his bag. He glanced at me and smiled shyly then turned away to lock the door to his car. Happy shivers rolled down my spine but I ignored the sensation- casually tucking some hair behind my ear.

"Hi," we said at the same time and we laughed weightlessly together despite the overbearing tension I could feel. "You okay?" he asked, very subtly licking his lips. "Yeah I'm good, I didn't do my Science homework though- I just kind of, um, fell asleep…" I laughed uneasily at my own words and risked a glance at his face, but he was smiling at me. Happy shivers again, I felt the warmth creep through me like hot chocolate down my throat, but it spread out to my fingertips- making them tingle.

"_That was a little over the top" _I said silently in my head. "That was a little hyperbole" he said, but he pronounced it how it was spelt.

"High-per-boh-ley," I corrected almost stammering the syllables. His forever blue orbs locked onto mine, making it hard to concentrate. They were so intense yet so comforting. I never thought to question why he said it to begin with. It was impossible to think he _just knew._ Maybe I had said it out loud.

"Hyperbole," he said again but quieter, softer.

"Yeah, hyperbole" I repeated, my voice just as soft, just as quiet. I craved his touch now, I needed it- the desire consumed me.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed

We leaned together as the sunlight peeked over a cloud, our faces millimetres from each other, our lips slow and heavy magnets…

Brakes squealed piercingly, as a car moved itself into a parking space not far from ours. We jerked apart and I fell backwards over my motorbike. Embarrassed I jumped up and sat down as casually as I could on the bike in one fluid motion. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice sincere. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to-" He stopped, "I mean, I-" He stopped again "It was an accident-"

He looked truly sorry.

That only made it worse.

"I-its fine really, I wanted-" I chewed on my lip to prevent the rest of the sentence. "Like I said I have, um, homework…" I picked up my bag and helmet, stood up avoiding his apologetic gaze and walked towards the nearest table. I sat down at the bench table and whipped out my science workbook, completing the homework with a speed pushing the ordinary human boundary but it did nothing to take my mind off of my dilemma. I finished the questions and slipped into worrying about what would have happened if the car didn't shock us apart. Until the bell rang, I mentally punished myself for even wanting to do something like that with someone other than Jacob. But by the end of the day I'd forgiven myself and realised a dangerous truth:

_Imprinting was a one-way street._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6- Sound's like a date to me...

The Library was abuzz.  
This was a good thing for two particular reasons:

-Any awkward silences were eliminated by the noise

-The general hubbub made the atmosphere less tense

However, we were unable to concentrate on the task at hand as much as we should have. The work Kaleb and I finished in 4 and a bit hours could have been done in less than an hour and a half. We were smiling and laughing and munching on Haribo and crisps trying to get our introduction right for the joint essay. I needed it though; I needed to be distracted from reality for a while longer. I came up with the reason I was so addicted to Kaleb and his presence the day before.

Although, I didn't think anyone was going to like it.

The night before, I went up to my room with only a sentence to everyone who was milling around the living room:  
_"I'm busy tonight, don't disturb me, please."  
_I racked my brains for the outcomes of whatever choices I made to no avail. I realised I had to be certain of a few variables before I proceeded with my decision. Questions were in need of answering. I took out a notepad from my computer desk drawer and started writing:

1. Am I in love with Jacob?  
_Yes_

2. Am I in love with Kaleb?  
_Yes_

3. Do I **have** to choose between them?  
_Yes. Alice said so._

4. Any choice is the right choice?  
_Yes, Alice also said this._

5. Who will inevitably hurt more depending on my choice?  
_If Kaleb is my choice: Jacob and possibly me.  
If Jacob is my choice: Kaleb (if he feels the same way- *__**must find this out**__) and again, possibly me._

6. If I remain with Jacob, what will happen?  
_We will be married, but I will feel confined to this "chosen" existence._

7. If I choose Kaleb, what will happen?  
_Future is unclear, suspected happiness until he begins to grow steadily older, but I will no longer feel pressurised to be in love with Jacob at the expense of his Imprinting._

I looked it over again and again realising how illogical it all appeared. Especially the answer to Question 1 of my "What's the next step in your love-life" questionnaire. I responded automatically, and quickly as if to rule out any possibility of uncertainty. Evidently I was unable to make a rational decision. But all throughout the following day, and by the time I arrived at the library with Kaleb, I had come up with an answer- not that it was helpful one:_ I thought I was, undeniably in love with him, but now I'm unsure. It may have just been a natural progression for me that I was powerless to deny. Yet I looked at it as if I had a choice. _

Now that I thought about it, there was intense amount of pressure that I was oblivious to beforehand:

-Jacob was broken, I made him whole- I couldn't not feel empathy for him

-He'd been my closest friend since I was born

-He was ready to run away with me if the Volturi had annihilated us that day.

-He wasn't ugly

Love. It's sticky webs had captured my heart and denied me access to reason, rationality and sanity. That reminded me of a poem I came across once. I remembered the poet's name and I got up from the table without an explanation to Kaleb. I strode to the poetry section and looked in "C" for "Constable". It took me seconds. I pulled out his '_Selected Poems' _and leafed to _'All That Remains'.  
_It was a favourite of mine, and what I remembered was the second half of it:

_Hope is all that's left  
But for what?_

_For me to hold on to what I feel for you?  
For me to realise when to stop?  
For me to transform, into someone strong enough to resist your pull?_

_All and none of the above is what I want  
Because the sticky webs of love have stung my eyes  
And haven't cleared for a long time  
And I'm waiting for a blinding light to shine_

_To burn away the searing pain  
To give my head and heart 20/20 vision again  
So I can see who you really are  
And what it is I see in you_

_The lack of it has left me famished  
And almost anything appears delicious  
So until the light comes  
I'll be your friend_

_When I finally turn  
The final turn  
I'll look for you first  
Because beauty is beauty_

Kaleb was standing behind a bookshelf 10 meters away, I could recognise his scent. He was probably wondering where I was. I put Constable's _'Selected Poems' _back in its place and made my way over to him. He looked up before I had even taken my first step- I would have to talk to him about that weird intuition of his- and smiled at me, it was the kind of smile someone would smile when they are appreciating something for a second time, like a movie or a book. It made me feel curiously light-headed. When I got to him I quizzed him on it: "What's that for?" I asked.  
He frowned in obvious confusion, "What? What did I do?"  
"That thing on your face,"  
"There's something on my face?"  
I laughed, "Nothing apart from your smile. Why are you smiling at me like that?"  
"I don't know," he said very quickly, his breath hitched subtly "It's just a smile, gosh, can't a guy smile at a girl without being interrogated?"  
I smirked mischievously and made a quick mental note to find out what he was hiding. Right now, I needed to change the subject- he wasn't going to tell me anything if he was all worked up.  
"Yeah, sure. Anyway let's get back to the essay. It's not going to write itself. Come on, Kaleb" I got behind him and pushed him towards our table. We slumped down in unison and slugged at our first, second and third paragraphs. By the time we were through the place was next-to empty and the hubbub had disappeared but neither of us noticed, with our heads down, consulting our mind-map of specific themes and ideas to explore from time to time and scribbling down some fantastical analyses. We leant back and sighed a sigh of relief; halfway through the task in one sitting was pretty impressive. We began packing up after detecting the librarian's wordless prowl. The large room was painfully silent, and there was now a distinct tension in the air. In an attempt to dispel it I started up a conversation on our progress:  
"We are definitely ahead of schedule..." I said.  
"Haha yep, definitely. Most of the class haven't even read it yet- I expect the movie was for their benefit," he replied, stuffing papers into his bag. "Anyway, it's been great today. I love how you make Haribo vanish into thin air..."  
I laughed, "I _love_ Haribo, but if I eat too much it makes me go crazy," then I hastened to add "I thought it was great today too." accompanied with a smile. We shouldered our backpacks and made our way to the exit. As we strolled, with intent to annoy the librarian, I had the crazy idea of holding hands with him. And I didn't push it out of my mind or feel guilty about it, I played out the whole scene from us walking out into the fast fading sunlight, red-orange sky colouring our skin. I imagined us skipping down the stairs together with big grins on our faces, fingers squeezing, hearts beating fiercely with happy anticipation.

In reality I tripped down the stairs and fell on my butt.

Kaleb ran down the 12 steps all panicky and "Are you OK? Are you alright? Do you need some help up?" I feigned pain and took the offered hand. I rubbed my left butt-cheek and grimaced. I wasn't hurt at all, in fact it felt just like throwing myself into a sofa to relax and watch TV or something. The only thing that was hurt was my pride, but I decided to use the situation to my advantage. After I stood up and thanked Kaleb, I put my bag down to one side and bent over right in front of him, pretending to stretch in a way that would alleviate the pain in my butt-cheek. Then I slowly rose after a few seconds and rubbed it in small circles in an amateur-ish attempt at massage. Finally, I turned around, secretly glad that the streets were empty bar the two teenagers standing at the entrance of the library, to view his reaction. As I expected he was quite red in the face, but his expression was well composed, as if he had just been watching a car driving past or a cat run along the top of a garden fence.

"I'm all better now," I said with a smile  
"G-Good. I'm glad you didn't cause yourself any serious pain,"  
"Well I'm glad that you're glad"  
"And I'm glad that you're glad that I'm glad" Kaleb shot back, smiling the same smile he smiled when I found him, at a table alone, that lunchtime everyone met Kaleb. Thinking about school, that specific geographical location lead to the car park, and the incident there.  
"Um, K?" I asked as we began our walk to our respective vehicles.  
"Mhm?"  
"Can I ask you a serious question? I don't want it to change anything, can you promise me it won't?"  
Kaleb looked at me steadily.  
"I can promise, yes. I have a feeling what you're going to ask me too,"  
"OK, well, um..."  
"Go on, I'm listening" he said, stopping with me next to his car.  
"The thing, i-in the car park... When we... um"  
"The almost-kiss you mean, right?"  
"Y-Yeah..."  
"So what's the question?"  
"Do you like me? I mean, do you have feelings for me?"  
Kaleb stared at me. He bit his lip and furrowed his brow. Then he opened his mouth and closed it again. He took a breath:  
"I don't know what to say" he sighed finally.  
"Umm... OK, hahaha" I laughed nervously. All that build up to give me a non-committal answer? But then he continued:  
"Look, Renesmèe, I don't know what to say, because I am unsure what will happen if I say yes or if I say no. I already know you have a boyfriend, it's one of the first things I asked Gene after that first conversation we had."  
"Really?" I asked, dumbfounded.  
"Do you _really_ have to ask? Nessie, you need to understand this. You're beautiful, no, you're a goddess. I can't quite believe that you exist, and yet, there you are." his shoulders heaved in a ragged sigh, then he took another breath, as if to fortify himself :  
"Renesmèe, you have a boyfriend, I don't want to be the guy who breaks up a relationship, no one wants to be that guy. I also don't want to be the rebound guy, I hate that guy too because he knows deep down that he'll get hurt by her, but he's so blindly and blissfully unaware until the last possible moment that he continues. It only ends in hurt. I don't want to hurt anyone, I especially don't want to hurt you, but most of all- and this might seem a bit selfish- I don't want to end up getting hurt. Love is a dangerous game to be playing Renesmèe, and I'm not keen on getting burned."

There was a lump in my throat but I kept my facial composure. I was biting my lip, anticipating good news, but now that he had explained it, it was clear how much I'd trivialised it all. It was stupid to think that he would say yes and I'd tell Jacob that I didn't love him any longer and that would be the end of that. Happily Ever After. It was bullshit. I'd fooled myself into thinking it was easy. It was far, far more complicated than that. It was so complicated that I couldn't even explain it to him. In my head, all of these words, all of these feelings were condensed into one syllable: _"Fuck" _

I realised that I'd been staring at Kaleb for a while, he was looking nervous and fidgety and uncomfortable.  
"Kaleb, I..."  
"Yes?"  
"I don't know what to say either"  
We shared a sad smile, had a strictly platonic comfort hug and got into (or on) our respective vehicles. I stuck my helmet on and made sure my back pack was secure before looking back and waving to Kaleb. I started my engine and made my way home. As I watched the green of the trees and the deep red-pink of the sky blur past me I kept dwelling on a little part of our previous discourse. I didn't focus on the most recent and most awkward part of our conversation but the part where we were packing our things away and getting ready to leave the library.  
Kaleb had said: "Anyway, it's been great today"

That sounded like an end of a date thing to say. To me that was a very clumsy attempt at trying to start an exchange of flirty goodbyes. But what did I know? All I knew was Jacob. I was about as inexperienced as Kaleb was when it came down to it.

"I need some advice..." I sighed as I slowed to a standstill outside my home.

**A/N: What do you think? I tried to make it as meaty as possible without moving too far forward in the story, I'm trying to make sure that each Chapter contains a scene or a series of small events leading up to a scene, know what I mean? Review! I know it has been long overdue so I honestly want to know what you think about it... Thanks for reading!**


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